Halloween is not normally a huge part of our annual agenda but this year all the girls wanted the fully bhoona, with Ly being particularly keen to try her hand at ‘trick or treating’ (possibly incentivised by getting her hands on lots of sweets). So with Tanya away in Banchory and unlikely to make it back in time, it was left to me to sort out costumes, including my own. Now not being too particular I decided that this year I would identify with a non-specific scary thing. You know, just look generally a bit scary and I honestly thought that this would pass muster with the locals as we trekked around. Clearly Niomi, Emily and Ly thought it would work, commenting on how scary I looked, and so we all set off round the neighbourhood.
All was going well - confectionary supplies were increasing very well, Ly had mastered the pronunciation and intonation of her joke successfully, Niomi had pretty much overcome her initial shyness and Emily was taking being an Elf well and truly in her stride. Then I was blindsided by a 6 year old. “Who are you supposed to be?” came the question. Well I just thought a general scary thing would have cut it but clearly you actually had to be ‘something.’ After a slightly pregnant pause I had a flash of inspiration and came up with ‘a ghoul’ on the basis that this 6 year old would likely have heard of a ghoul but not know what one looked like (although neither did I). Honestly, I thought I’d done really well with my last minute impromptu costume – but there’s no satisfying some folk.
The kids were all however more than satisfied, returning home with bags of sugary bounty galore, probably to find it will be rationed out over a very long period of time…..mwah, ha, ha, ha….
“She's getting married in the morning, ding dong the bells are going to chime.” Hot on the heels of her major successes in Utrecht and Amsterdam my niece Chloe has only gone and got engaged to that lovely boyfriend of hers, Alex.
A week after we left them he whisked her away to the beautiful city of Milan (classy) and proposed on one knee from the dizzying heights of the Duomo – followed by a round of applause from nearby onlookers. Fantastic! The boy's got style. My favourite part of the story was that the engagement ring set off the security sensor on entry to the Duomo, causing Alex to rapidly do some secretive explanations to the security guard who was rather vocal in his apology. All this caused a slight quizzical exchange from Chloe but he bluffed his way through and plans were not derailed.
Needless to say, after what has been a bit of a tough year, we are delighted to have a wedding to look forward to. And even though it might not be tomorrow morning, it seems like the bells might chime next year with a bit of luck. And what’s more we have 2 VERY excited girls in our house as Chloe has kindly asked them to be bridesmaids! Emily was jumping with glee, to be joined by Niomi after she initially went into spellbound shock at the prospect.
Congratulations Chole and Alex!! We are simply delighted💕
Rock on!
Niomi is clearly expecting a carriage to travel in
And Emily is clearly very excited!! (as are we all!)
“I trek, you trek, we all trek to Utrecht”….So went the cry as a merry band of eight of us left the UK from various departure points to all convene on the beautiful Dutch city of Utrecht. A feast was in store both literally and metaphorically, for it was to be a weekend of fine classical music, fine food and fine conversation. The purpose of this venture was primarily to see my super-talented niece Chloe conduct in some of the finest concert venues in the world to audiences approaching 2,000. Chloe is 27, and achieving such heady heights already early in her career completely blew me away. The orchestra and audience were lifted with every twirl of her baton and I was left both speechless and with a tear in my eye.
But there were other missions to accomplish too – the sub-plot was to introduce ‘our family’ to ‘his family’. The ‘he’ of this story being her wonderful boyfriend Alex. And so the 8 of us became 13, as we toured Utrecht on foot and barge, eating and chatting away around what is a truly stunning and vibrant city. For the fourth time this year I felt Britain is just lagging behind and Europe rapidly racing ahead. That aside we all seemed to get on famously and the generosity of our hosts – my brother and his wife and Chloe and Alex – left us desiring nothing and full of joy and laughter which meant for everyone having a truly fantastic weekend. Thank you all so very much and it was a pleasure meeting many new faces (and also thanks to Nana and Baba for holding the fort in Kirkintilloch!).
And before we knew it we landed back with a bump – straight into Storm Babet – but even that didn’t dampen my autumnal good vibes that our trek to Utrecht (and Amsterdam) had left us with.
In early October I spent a weekend visiting my Dad. We had finally found a new care home for him, Vale House in Oxford; and he moved in a few weeks ago. And it really is lovely. It's a specialist nursing dementia place run as a charity (as opposed to many which are businesses) and the care and the leadership are beyond anything I have ever seen in a care home before. It was designed by an architect who had a parent there and is full of very thoughtful touches. It's also a truly inspirational place to be inside; full of compassion, understanding and happiness. They really understand and they really care.
And now he's calm. After months of agitation, emotion and agression, he's finally calm...and so am I. I had a very lovely time seeing him and staying with my brother, but it was also very tough. I said everything I needed to and, whilst I'm not sure he knew who I was, we shared many giggles and memories. I saw three very different Dad's - tearful, giggling and peaceful. But most important was the latter. I left having sat outside holding his hand, with the sun on our faces sharing the warmth of the early autumn air. He nodded off quite regularly and was very calm. I left feeling overwhelming peace and grateful that I had that time with him.
The end of September has been spent on hooves and skates. Skating was a first for Ly, Emily has been wanting to go again for ages and Niomi is still less than sure about the slippy stuff (Tanya takes it all in her stride). Horse riding was again a first for Ly, Emily and Niomi have been wanting to go again for ages and I am still less than sure about the horsey stuff (Tanya takes it all in her stride). Man was meant to go on two legs not four if you ask me, and after my last experience a few years ago I just body swerved the whole thing. Needless to say everyone else finds that funny.
The horse incident was on a long weekend in Banchory, and aside for my equine phobia Banchory was great. I got out running (firmly on 2 legs), breathed in the air and generally kicked back against the autumn blues that had gripped me for a few weeks. There was the usual dose of being wonderfully looked after, and visits to Crathes and Banchory’s finest charity shops.
And as the nights draw in and the weather gets wilder, we’ve also all taken to preparation for the change in season with the girls preferring drawing and cooking, and us adults getting the house ready for winter – clearing out, mending, organising, bottling and pickling. Autumn like Spring are seasons of change – one to the light and one to the dark. And this bedding down is helpful for me to prepare for the hunkering down of the winter season and the impending dark. I'm ready....I think 😕
Some days just seem to go on forever. Last December I turned 50 and it feels like I’ve been celebrating my birthday ever since. I set a target to do something every month and its been quite an adventure so far.
September's offering came courtesy of our good friends Yvonne and Wilf; a trip down the road to the Spotty Dog for a touch of archery, food, fire and merry making. I was indeed like Robin Hood with my band of merry folk and we all had a cracking time (which was welcome relief from the recent intensity of things with my Dad).
And what has all this celebrating given me (apart from a few sore heads)? Well my birthday offerings have made me remember how truly blessed I am to be surrounded by many, many good people. Friendship is possibly one of the greatest gifts.
Thank you Yvonne and Wilf for being Mr and Mrs September. I was made to feel very special.
Every so often Mummy gets to go away and do things with other Mummys, and I get to be in charge of everyone (I am actually in charge all the time but I like Mummy to think she’s in control). We get to do things my way, and the house is obviously a million times better for it.
Fiction: It’ll be all do what you like, eat what you like, the kids will love me, I’ll be the best Dad in the world because it will be one big ‘YES Day!’, AND I’ll do all the laundry and clean the house.
Reality: I go into survival mode, try not to lose my rag, feed them too much sugar and pay the price, forget to do half the things I’m supposed to, AND end the weekend in a broken heap.
Maybe the truth is somewhere in between but trying to get everyone to have fun, not cannibalise each other, AND hold a semblance of normality together is harder than you think.
Act 1: Friday eve – pick kids up from school, sun is shining, we’re all ‘Woohoo – freedom!’. Phone Dominos pizza in (we never normally do that), crack open a beer and relax. Watch the Greatest Showman, popcorn and chocolate half way through. Kids love it, Ly loves it. I am a hero and everyone goes to bed – slightly later than intended but its fine. They’ll lie in.
Act 2: Saturday – Kids don’t lie in and get up tired. I’m tired too. Never mind breakfast restores things and I let them watch their tablets for a while. Ly heads to Glasgow and I try to get my act together, washing on, dishwasher emptied etc etc. Morning starts to run away from me but I get them out with a picnic, no major incidents or injuries, and the laundry is on the line. We’re off to Callendar House and Park. Arrive and eat picnic within 10 minutes. Niomi focuses on the treats causing sugar high followed by sugar crash. Playpark saves the day, except Emily now is really too old for playparks, so day not saved for her. Play trail instead, much more exciting except Niomi is mid sugar crash. Cajoling and bribery tactics fully engaged and we make it to the end for a zip line. Winner all round. Send Mummy lots of photos of happy children, playing very nicely together. Quick whizz round Callendar House – so much for furthering their education but I tried. And then ice cream revival with a dash round the lake whilst the ice cream effect is in full flow. Niomi has another sugar crash two thirds of the way round but hey we’re nearly there. And then we make it back to the van and beat a retreat. 4 hours spent well but its tough flying solo. Pizza again for dinner (leftovers) and then timely bed for Niomi. She’s done in. Emily watches film. I sit outside drinking beer and chatting to friend Liam by the fire. Great evening but will pay the price tomorrow.
Act 3: Kids wake and drag me up. Note to self – hard to be a great Dad and have a social life. Thankfully though the kids are tired so we chill out. Early lunch then off blackberry picking which is a lovely success – mainly because Ly comes along and helps entertain Niomi. Saved later by neighbour who takes us all round to help feed the foxes which inhabit his yard/allotment. Day passes surprisingly well. Send more pictures to Mummy of happy, smiling kids. Early bed. School tomorrow. Act 4: Successfully manage the school run. Surprise myself and everyone. We’re early. Think I was so worried about it that I hyper planned. Mummy returns at lunch. Normal business is resumed. I pass the being in charge test and get loads of brownie points.
Its hard though….and when you’re a single parent you really have to work at it. So whilst I like being in charge, I'm glad I can share the responsibility most of the time. Welcome back Mummy.
