Emily's first breast century...

Scotland has never been renowned for its cricket players, particularly not its female ones. Maybe that will all now change...

Ian Botham made his test debut for England on the 28th July 1977 but it wasn't until early in 1978 that he made his first test century. On the other hand, Emily Rooke made her first short breast appearance in the early hours of 2nd November 2012 and reached her first breast century by 11th November 2012. 

By this I mean of course her first 100 nappies up. Another reason to celebrate - I even gave her my own personal standing ovation as she was carried back to the changing mat. 100 nappies in 9 days. For the statisically minded amongst you thats about 11.11 per day, or about 1 every 140 minutes. Thats some going by any toilet standards...

Lesson 2 - don't ever underestimate the number of nappies babies can get through.

Emily's first breast debut

 Daddy using telepathy to explain the rules of cricket

So, 9 days in and nappy changing has become a part of our daily routine and very much part of the learning curve. The early attempts involved both of us - all fingers, thumbs and tears. But now we are finely honed professionals - carrying out finessed solo performances completed in our sleep (literally). Studs unpopped, layers off, dirty nappy stripped, bottom washed, new nappy on, studs repopped and back in the crib before Emmie knows what's happened...like a Formula 1 pit change.

Achieving such skill does not come without it's lessons and quick learning on the job is required. Unexpected water hath gushed forth on numerous occasions, and we are now like the brave Hans Brinker ready to stem the flow. Our tools are to hand like the skilled surgeon's, our beautiful linen box transformed to the operating theatre - the cotton wool swabs, thermos flask, towels, changing mat, spare clothes, bags, nappies, all layed out and ready for action at any moment, day or night. We just wait fair Emily's gentle call or her delicately perfumed scent to waft out way - and then we leap into action - pop, peel, wash, peel, pop - cleansing her of what she no longer needs.

But is all this great effort more than required? Not at all. For us, it is part of our never-ending search for that holy grail of sleep. For our Emily is like Bagpuss....and when Emily goes to sleep then her parents go to sleep. And balance is restored to the universe once more...

The supreme being prepares to restore hamony